A Bad Day at Work
文章来源:未知 文章作者:enread 发布时间:2016-08-23 08:06 字体: [ ]  进入论坛
(单词翻译:双击或拖选)
Rob is a commercial saturation1 diver for Global Divers2 in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore3 drilling rigs.
 
Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won:
 
Hi Sue,
 
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
 
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma4 with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all .
 
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
 
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit.
 
This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel5 powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment that sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful6 temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
 
Now, this all sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
 
What I do when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's fantastic...it's like working in a Jacuzzi.
 
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt7 started to itch8. So, of course, I scratched it. This, of course, only made things worse. Within a few seconds my bottom started to feel a burning sensation. I pulled the hose out from my back, thinking that maybe the water was too hot, but the damage was done.
 
In agony, I realized what had happened.
 
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it directly into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, so the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
 
When I had scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish, and all of its poisonous, stinging tentacles9, into the crack of my bottom.
 
I immediately informed the dive supervisor10 of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically11.
 
Needless to say, I aborted12 the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing13 in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber14 dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass15 helmet.
 
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
 
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my bottom was swollen16 shut.
 
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your bottom.
 
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
 
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
 
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day.


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 saturation wCTzQ     
n.饱和(状态);浸透
参考例句:
  1. The company's sales are now close to saturation in many western countries.这家公司的产品销售量在许多西方国家已接近饱和。
  2. Road traffic has reached saturation point.公路交通已达到饱和点。
2 divers hu9z23     
adj.不同的;种种的
参考例句:
  1. He chose divers of them,who were asked to accompany him.他选择他们当中的几个人,要他们和他作伴。
  2. Two divers work together while a standby diver remains on the surface.两名潜水员协同工作,同时有一名候补潜水员留在水面上。
3 offshore FIux8     
adj.海面的,吹向海面的;adv.向海面
参考例句:
  1. A big program of oil exploration has begun offshore.一个大规模的石油勘探计划正在近海展开。
  2. A gentle current carried them slowly offshore.和缓的潮流慢慢地把他们带离了海岸。
4 dilemma Vlzzf     
n.困境,进退两难的局面
参考例句:
  1. I am on the horns of a dilemma about the matter.这件事使我进退两难。
  2. He was thrown into a dilemma.他陷入困境。
5 diesel ql6zo     
n.柴油发动机,内燃机
参考例句:
  1. We experimented with diesel engines to drive the pumps.我们试着用柴油机来带动水泵。
  2. My tractor operates on diesel oil.我的那台拖拉机用柴油开动。
6 delightful 6xzxT     
adj.令人高兴的,使人快乐的
参考例句:
  1. We had a delightful time by the seashore last Sunday.上星期天我们在海滨玩得真痛快。
  2. Peter played a delightful melody on his flute.彼得用笛子吹奏了一支欢快的曲子。
7 butt uSjyM     
n.笑柄;烟蒂;枪托;臀部;v.用头撞或顶
参考例句:
  1. The water butt catches the overflow from this pipe.大水桶盛接管子里流出的东西。
  2. He was the butt of their jokes.他是他们的笑柄。
8 itch 9aczc     
n.痒,渴望,疥癣;vi.发痒,渴望
参考例句:
  1. Shylock has an itch for money.夏洛克渴望发财。
  2. He had an itch on his back.他背部发痒。
9 tentacles de6ad1cd521db1ee7397e4ed9f18a212     
n.触手( tentacle的名词复数 );触角;触须;触毛
参考例句:
  1. Tentacles of fear closed around her body. 恐惧的阴影笼罩着她。
  2. Many molluscs have tentacles. 很多软体动物有触角。 来自《简明英汉词典》
10 supervisor RrZwv     
n.监督人,管理人,检查员,督学,主管,导师
参考例句:
  1. Between you and me I think that new supervisor is a twit.我们私下说,我认为新来的主管人是一个傻瓜。
  2. He said I was too flighty to be a good supervisor.他说我太轻浮不能成为一名好的管理员。
11 hysterically 5q7zmQ     
ad. 歇斯底里地
参考例句:
  1. The children giggled hysterically. 孩子们歇斯底里地傻笑。
  2. She sobbed hysterically, and her thin body was shaken. 她歇斯底里地抽泣着,她瘦弱的身体哭得直颤抖。
12 aborted dfb7069bfc6e0064a6c667626eca07b4     
adj.流产的,失败的v.(使)流产( abort的过去式和过去分词 );(使)(某事物)中止;(因故障等而)(使)(飞机、宇宙飞船、导弹等)中断飞行;(使)(飞行任务等)中途失败
参考例句:
  1. The rocket flight had to be aborted because of difficulties with computer. 因电脑出故障,这次火箭飞行只好中辍。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  2. They aborted the space flight finally. 他们最后中止了这次宇航飞行。 来自《简明英汉词典》
13 agonizing PzXzcC     
adj.痛苦难忍的;使人苦恼的v.使极度痛苦;折磨(agonize的ing形式)
参考例句:
  1. I spent days agonizing over whether to take the job or not. 我用了好些天苦苦思考是否接受这个工作。
  2. his father's agonizing death 他父亲极度痛苦的死
14 chamber wnky9     
n.房间,寝室;会议厅;议院;会所
参考例句:
  1. For many,the dentist's surgery remains a torture chamber.对许多人来说,牙医的治疗室一直是间受刑室。
  2. The chamber was ablaze with light.会议厅里灯火辉煌。
15 brass DWbzI     
n.黄铜;黄铜器,铜管乐器
参考例句:
  1. Many of the workers play in the factory's brass band.许多工人都在工厂铜管乐队中演奏。
  2. Brass is formed by the fusion of copper and zinc.黄铜是通过铜和锌的熔合而成的。
16 swollen DrcwL     
adj.肿大的,水涨的;v.使变大,肿胀
参考例句:
  1. Her legs had got swollen from standing up all day.因为整天站着,她的双腿已经肿了。
  2. A mosquito had bitten her and her arm had swollen up.蚊子叮了她,她的手臂肿起来了。
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